Christian Husbands of America
Writings
Where Did They Go?



What ever happened to men, where have they all gone? We do see many male species around us and at times within our immediate presence, but very few “MEN”. The generations past has watered down the meaning of MANHOOD. It has been quoted by various authors and speakers, “we are born a male, but we are or become men by choice”. This is a precise fact. The past generations has produced, trained and brought forth weak-kneed, milk toast, irresponsible and self-centered society of males that has refused any part of God fearing and God based “MANHOOD”. Sad to say but the male sect has dropped the ball when it comes to being responsible as Godly men.

MAKING THAT GALANT EFFORT

We do see however males trying to make statements of macho masculinity, and appearing to the world their virility. The little attempts to begin the show of status quo always seem to just grow and grow. Many males just do not know where to stop trying to prove their macho appearance.
It seems to start with some kind of weird beard design, carrying over into the hair department, shaved, curled or waved. Then we move into the earrings and other things, tongue and nose pierced just trying to look fierce. Where does it stop, seems it goes from bottom to top. Next, comes the clothes, these days seems everything goes, and from scantly dressed to a shaggy mess. The male will try anything at any time and anywhere in their attempt to prove just how big of man they are. Most all efforts are futile, in this fashion attempt to prove their manhood.
Listed below are some most definite wasted efforts in trying to prove one's manhood:

1. a goatee
2. an earring or earrings
3. rings in the nose or in the tongue
4. a shaved head
5. hair longer and more “prettier” than most women’s
6. a falsetto voice of deemed masculine tone “low” gruff or deep
7. rings and necklaces
8. he who has the biggest and most expensive toys, big tires on trucks and noise
9. then we have the biggest romantic amongst the boys
10. Let us not forget number ten, at “any cost” they just have to win
11. he who has the most communicative equipment, pager, swinging phone & etc:
12. Individualism at any cost, to prove you are special, or “different” a non-conformist and rebellious toward anything or any purpose proving to the world about them, yes they are special and most assuredly "macho".

I am sure you can add a few on this list, but this covers a great deal of the dead in the water signs of “true Godly” masculinity. Most definitely, it is not the outward adornment that makes the male a man, just as a cover does not constitute a book. While I am not advocating I be against all of the above. I am adamantly against: using these tactics of outward adornment in proof of macho masculinity. (True Manhood)

WHAT IS THE TRUTH?

First and formost, we need to keep in mind that God receives us just as we are. There are no criteria of looks as we or when we come to the Lord. He loves us as humanity and is not willing that any should perish, but all should come to repentance no matter what we look or dress like. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that [all] should come to repentance. We certainly need not judge others in worthiness. Most often however, when one has the above appearance and/or attire, they fit in with the world’s criteria. One would be hard pressed to act or live any different from the world if they have a tendency to look like the world. Have you not ever heard said, “You act like you appear and dress”? If one looks and acts, then they must be. God does admonish us in His Word to come out from amongst them and be ye separate. (Second Corinthians 16:16-18) being out from the ways of the world. Our lives are should reflect the Temple of the living God. He said I will be their God and they will be my people. It is somewhat difficult to bear fruit for the living God when you look like... you are from another source. The Word tells us we cannot serve two Masters found in Matthew 6:24.
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. We read for the light of the body is the eye: if therefore thy eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light, but if thy eye be evil, thy (whole body) shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
No man can serve two Masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

THERE MUST BE A POSITIVE TO THIS NEGATIVE

There must be then signs of true Manhood and a positive sign to being or having Macho masculinity. As far as our outward appearing goes, we could most definitely take our reflection from our Lord and Saviour, himself. He was rugged in appearance, mostly plainly dressed as far as the world goes. Isaiah 53:2 tells us that as the Lord is revealed, there will be no comeliness that we should desire him, meaning to have allurement, prettiness, or attractiveness. There will be no frilly look at me flashiness appearance according to the written Word. “There is no beauty that we should desire him.”v.2 However, I feel confident that the Love of God does and will shine through His appearing. As has been proven through times past, not all will be drawn by the Love of God through the Holy Spirit, due to the spirit of the Anti-Christ having control of some individuals. Most often, these individuals will be driven by the “self desires” of one’s soul. They have been, are and will be of those seeking “self” interest.

Lest I stray any further from the subject, we would do good to take our example of outward appearance form the Son of God, Himself. Now I am not advocating the wearing of Robes and sandals, but merely dressing ordinarily and commonly in this days society, to not be dressing flashy and outlandish, so as to attract attention to ones self. The body, as the Lord tells us is the living Temple of the Holy Spirit. Why adorn it and mutilate it with rings and post piercing the various body areas. Say what you will, a conservative pierce in one’s ear is very different from the sickening things we see in our society of today. Much of what we see currently truly comes from a demented nature or source. It does not leave to one’s imagination the source of origination depicting the true nature of one’s spirit and soul. This type of exposé most definitely does not promote manhood in any form or sense. {Of course there will and would be those who say “Who cares and who is trying”) when approached. (These are those who have been had).

Thus far, we have been discussing the outward appearance depicting our inward spirit. God says in his Word as a man thinketh in his heart so is he, {found in Matthew 12:35-36}. Man’s heart is the nuclei of his spirit or and soul. Verse 34 tells us: for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. We as individuals know from our own lives, this is truth. We speak of those things, which are in our heart, our very soul.
Our outward attire and our conduct of speech reflect the very foundation or substratum of our soul and spirit. This we cannot escape, unless we have premeditatedly planned to deceive those around us. Sadly, there are many wolves in sheep clothing. In addition, I might add there are possibly sheep in wolves clothing, being outside of the fold, such as the prodigal son had left the place and the presence of blessings. He had made a decision to live, act like and to become part of the world’s structure, outside of Christ.

God’s Word tells us: be not conformed to this world: but we are to transform from the ways of the world, by the renewing of our mind. Romans 12:2
We are to do this that we may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect will of God. This being the will of God for our lives that he may bless us and that we may Glorify His Truth and name. God has much to say in regards to MANHOOD.

THE REAL THING


True manhood has all of the characteristics of love, concern and caring. We are admonished in First Corinthians 16:13, Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, and be strong. Verse 14; let all your things be done with charity. The word quit meaning: according to the Greek word andridzomahee, meaning to act like men, to act manly; from the prime word aner, an’-ayr meaning as an individual male):-fellow husband, man, or sir. 1st. Co. 16:13 tells us to: watch and stand fast in the faith. We are not to be tossed back and forth with all false wind of doctrine, or to be tossed about with the wiles or deceit of Satan. We are to face the wind and the force that comes against us with the assurance of the presence of God’s ever abiding and inner dwelling power of the Holy Spirit. We do not have to follow the world’s way of life, leading us into degradation, being dreadful conditions. When we find ourselves conforming to the ways and ideas of the world, and following society, surely we will end up in a state of unhappiness and possibly despair. We are to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, Ephesians 6:10. I am not advocating, anti-society, and or rebellion, but merely encouraging one to use Godly wisdom as we move through life as Men within this society of today. To strive to be and live in a God fearing and God respecting manner. We can do this as a man, and do it for the love of our families and for the good of humanity. We wonder: where did the men go?

DEGENERATION

I feel confident as in months past and perhaps in the last few years I have discussed the degeneration of the generations with various people, and they have agreed wholly, man has degenerated, morally and in manly stature. I am not talking size of stature, but the size of a man in his approach to life. Just how big of a man one really is when it comes to a true man of Christian stature. Some times a man can appear very small even when one is big and macho acting in the physical sense. You as well as I have had the opportunity to witness this fact first hand possibly in more than one occasion. As I have worked with the public down through the years, I have had the opportunity first hand to watch men as they communicate to their wife and children while trying to please number one. I have been saddened many times to see just who was important in the family unit. It was not the wife or the children. The word “self” and foremost comes into play with most, “but not all” men. Those who have truly surrendered their life wholly to the truth and the ways of Christ possess the gumption to treat their family spiritually proper.

It is as suggested above, a fact, that man has degenerated down through the generations. Children, little boys if you may, learn habits good or bad from their father, and mother in early childhood. We call the bad learned “sin” traits or mannerism. Naturally, there are positive traits as well as negatives. These traits generate positive things in life. It is plain to see however, the degenerative results of the family unit, and I hold this largely to the poor and no Godly leadership by the and from the father. One has to look no further than in their immediate family background and heritage to find these truths present and active. I am very sure one can separate the negatives and positives of the various present and past generations of their relatives.


WHAT LEGACY ARE YOU HANDING DOWN?


I am also very confident that you will find the same scenario, being handed down to the following generations for the most part, but not always, the male was primarily responsible for the success or failure of the marriage relationship. This is why we as men need to break that lineage of learned sin traits and “if you may” Avoid passing it on to the following generations. At the very first realization of existing sinful habits and traits in our lives as husbands, we as Men of God need to seek forgiveness and repent of those sins that so easily beset us. We need to put a stopgap at that point to protect the following generation from the same sinful trait or habit. Through the homes, America has degenerated via the wantonness of the flesh, versus the leading of the Holy Spirit. [Romans 13:13-14 and 2nd Peter 2:18-19] One cannot sow weeds and expect grain in their field. Then we wonder, what happened to our children, where did we go wrong? There are times and circumstances in a family unit containing the facts of parental sin early in the marriage relationship, in which is repented of, yet leaving it’s effect upon the children of learned sin traits. Then as time goes by, we soon forget where they “our children” could have possibly have learned that”. It is not a just action against the child to stand in condemnation of their lives, if we are the one responsible for the image in which they are mirroring. Learned sin traits are not so easily broken, sin possesses a grip like a vice. To break a sin trait, the power of God and the truly repentive heart can escape the stronghold of Satan This and this only can stop the degenerative action in the family unit...

IT’S YOUR CHOICE


If we as fathers want to see our sons and/or daughters grow into spiritual maturity, we must set the example quickly at whatever stage of life we may be experiencing. God can and will heal the hurt, and devastation to his honor and to his glory, though things might not happen in the way and time frame in which we would choose, God will ultimately have the victory in the lives of those that trust and love him. As a man of God, a dad and a husband has the inherent responsibility to determine the type of legacy, in which they choose to leave in and to their children, it is appointed unto men to do this, then after that , the judgment.
It is better to prepare and prevent than to repair and repent. As we have read the above article, I believe we can now ascertain:
WHERE THEY HAVE ALL GONE.


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